My problem is the negative feeling that school is giving me. Today, but specifically the first half, I felt dead inside. I could survive APUSH, as that was simple note taking, but physics was another subject entirely (no pun intended). In Physics, I couldn't do a problem to save my life, I was completely placid, with no will to do a problem or even pay attention to the lecture. I swear I do try to listen to those, but my physics teacher talks quietly, and there's an air vent right above us, so excuse me for not being able to concentrate on something I can barely hear in the first place. Not only that, but my eyes burned from lack of sleep stemming from trying to catch up on my Latin homework the previous night, and it was cold this morning, which didn't help at all. If my eyes were burning in the morning, imagine how they were on the bus home.
|Don't you love it when your eyes tend to bother you often, especially when you don't get much sleep?|
The worst part about this whole thing? I mentioned it in the last blog post: the school counselors apparently think the solution to Juniors not getting enough sleep is for us to get more sleep. Gee, I never thought of that, I guess it's like building over the walls in Maze Runner.
So back to Physics, I didn't do anything. I might've started to, but I pretty much collapsed after 10 minutes. Instead, I did something else. I got out my laptop and wrote. Not a blog post where I bitch about my life for a half hour for you to skim-read in one minute, I wrote fiction, the kind of writing I love as I can be creative rather than cynical for at least a short while. I wrote the background for my character in Dungeons and Dragons, thus morphing him from a set of stats into a real character, with a background that might as well be from an episode of BBC: Merlin. I can only imagine how I can write a crossover between these two universes.
I remember the creation of this background, I remember finishing it, and feeling better. The thing is, it wasn't writing a short story and losing myself in my work that helped me, it was the knowledge that I did something creative, not school mandated (definitely not a homework assignment), and that I basically achieved something of my own capacity and will.
That's the main problem with school, that it doesn't allow this. School keeps me from this, keeps me from refreshing and regenerating myself not through blog posts and sleep, but by the things I do that I want to do. Why can't I, you ask?
Because school forces us to have 5-7 hours of homework a night, and then complains when not enough people are getting 7+ hours of sleep.