One thing some people have noticed by now is that I'm not Captain Dirk Yaple on G+ anymore. Ever since sophomore year, I've always clung to it as a title, like some other obsessive pirate we all know and love. Now, however, it feels kinda tedious having to introduce myself like that everywhere, instead of just keeping it as a theatre nickname/reputation that'll always precede me. It feels as if it's something more I'm adding to myself, and on New Years, even though I didn't write this blog post, I did change my G+ name back to it's original Dirk Yaple (keep in mind the picture will remain unchanged until I can shoot a high-def version of it). The "Captain" was just an add-on to who I was, when in reality, I needed to be proud of just who I was, and that's my new years resolution, I guess: to be proud of who I am. Sorry Jack.
|Not him, we named the monkey Jack|
The one thing that stood out to me during Q's adventure with Margo in the night was her anti-college speech, where she mentions how our lives have devolved to the point where all we live for is in the future, and nobody really lives to appreciate the moments we have to do awesome things. I really loved Margo's character on a personal level, because she always seemed to be one to seize the moment and have adventures, a person I've wanted to be, but my anxiety, personified by Q, always held me back. I think even though I'm a really chill person and don't have much of a desire for revenge, romance (well, I have a girlfriend now, so I'm kinda out of the game of love), or real estate, there still was a passion inside me that wanted to be unleashed but was capped by the anxiety of not wanting to be disliked by anyone. I'm the kind of person always cracking jokes, like Leo Valdez in Percy Jackson, because I never really had a good set of friends, and people will keep you around if you're funny. People always laughed at my humor, but nobody ever appreciated me for it. Props to my new friend group I found this year, the right kind of friend group, and it sucks because I won't be able to chill with them after this year, because after 3 years of high school, I finally actually have real friends.
Back to college, I still don't have any kind of inborn passion for it, because for every story about how college made someone's life great, there are 5 stories that say they did just fine without even high school or that college screwed them over in life. No matter how many assemblies school calls where they tell us all about how college is awesome, it always seems like it's more of a detriment than a benefit to do it right after high school, when my personality is barely established and my finances far from capable (which is why I say gap year all the way). Re-watching Tim Minchin's graduation speech helped me relax this morning and let stress subside. The idea that it's all luck and that I shouldn't rush helps the anxious feeling of "you're a failure" that you seem to get whenever you tell someone you're not really interested in college. It's amazing how much it's advertised that your success in society is dependent upon whether or not you go to college, even if you can't afford college. At the very least, it'd help if schools were subsidized by the government, meaning admissions prices (and even the cost to apply) would drop and broke teenagers (like myself) could actually go to college without fear or worry.
I wish you all good luck for your spring semesters, if you are in school. If not, I still wish you luck. 2016 will be great for all of us, I just feel it.