I'm Rick Riordan's Competition for Coming Up With Weird Titles

So I haven't done one of these in a while, which should be a good thing, as I'm not so emotionally deprived as to write one of these out of pain, but not this time. Not this time.

As I said, it's been a while since I've done one of these. Senior year's been busy, though not as stressful. Every night I get a certain amount of sleep, and if anyone doesn't already know, I'm actually in a play this year, acting as Theseus in a Midsummer Night's Dream. I was told it wasn't a big part, but when I saw the script and how many lines he had, I was thoroughly convinced my theatre teacher had lied to me. Hippollyta isn't a big part, you know why? She barely says shit. Thankfully I've forced myself into getting off-book a week late, so I'm good, for the moment.

My anxiety? Gone. I'm more socially active than any other time in my high school life. Best I can figure is that in the wake of my dear friend's suicide (I did write a shadow-post about it a week or two ago), I'm more eager to self-harm, but instead of desiring physical harm, I seek out the pain of anxiety. In doing so, I've unwittingly forced myself out of it. I still need some work, but I feel better than ever. I can talk to people, smile in the halls, and I feel like I'm myself for once. I only considered myself as actually being a character in my personality during sophomore year, where I undertook the rite of Mal-sharan, allowing myself to fall to the edge of death in order to find myself. It wasn't a willing journey, but I undertook it nonetheless, succeeding where so many others fail day after day.

I'm writing so much more, if not for my blog. Senior year I decided to replace Latin with creative writing, deciding to take a year for myself rather than the pride of being awesome in Latin. It feels good to be awesome in Latin, you feel like you're smarter than everyone else who's taking a language. They chose the wrong language, now we can finally get a conscripted army together and enslave the other language clubs. Guess they should've learned their history.

Next, we're gonna add a hot tub to the roof of the Latin portable and get Teo a decent meterstick

Anyways, I've been insanely writing like a maniac these past few days, working on a single Person Of Interest/Agents Of Shield crossover. If you're about to wonder whether or not this is any normal fanfiction, I've nearly filled up an entire composition notebook. It's driven me to my wit's end as I've found a plot that fits perfectly together and is awesome overall. I'm wondering if I can turn it in as a final project for the class.

SPOILERS: these two become a thing :)

There were times in my life I felt absolutely shit, like I was the bottom of the barrel, that I had no friends, and there are still times I feel like that. Every time the teacher says "find a partner", I glance around to my friends and find they've all partnered up with each other (with the exception of this awesome girl who asked me if I wanted to work with her on our latest english project. That was a lift to my self-esteem). It's times like that when I realize I don't have any best friends. Everyone notices me when I'm there, but I do wonder if they notice me when I'm gone. As a defiant, rebellious teenager, my simple solution is to prove that I don't need friends, do something to make them notice I'm gone, and the way to do that is to forget my need for a friend in particular.

Friends are important, nobody can deny, but so many people focus on becoming good enough for their friends that they completely forget about becoming good enough for themselves, going to insane lengths to fit in. I learned a long time ago that I never wanted to just fit in, I wanted to be myself.

Now, for the first time in my life, I feel like myself, and I feel alive.